


The stupid phone

by kjstark



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Spoilers, Light Angst, M/M, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-22
Updated: 2016-10-22
Packaged: 2018-08-23 21:55:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8344258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kjstark/pseuds/kjstark
Summary: Five minutes passed and Sam had the thing vibrating on his hand. And really, for somebody who just sent a text asking a question Sam shouldn’t be surprised he got a reaction. Guessed he just didn’t expect it that soon.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aceofhearts88](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aceofhearts88/gifts).



> This work is for the [Marvel POC Fanworks Exchange](http://marvelpocexchange.tumblr.com) as part of my gift to [aceofhearts88](http://archiveofourown.org/users/aceofhearts88/pseuds/aceofhearts88). I'm sorry it's not that great, but I do hope you like the idea at least. 

Sam found out about the phone the second week.

Steve had been fidgeting with his fingers and told him about it after they saw on the Internet a Doombots invasion going on in Queens. They caught the spider boy’s spandex-ed ass running around car explosions and defenseless civilians and Wanda scoffed a laugh, then said something about Tony having double-standards.

Sam had shrugged it all off, told Steve they didn’t need them and pretended he didn’t see when Steve closed his fist, powerless.

Yeah, he missed the action too.

That night he found Steve contemplating his fate of being unable to get drunk, sitting on the kitchen, looking out the window.

“I miss them,” Steve had muttered as soon as Sam sat down.

“I know. So do I,” he agreed, snatching the bottle of Aguardiente from Steve’s hand and pouring himself some into Steve’s untouched glass. He downed the liquid in one go and felt it burning. Sam still hadn’t gotten used to the Colombian liquor.  “You haven’t talked to any of them?” he asked.

“Does T’Challa count?”

“No, I don’t think he does,” Sam shook his head.

Steve locked his eyes with Sam’s and one eternity later confessed his move.

Sam didn’t mind, sure as hell didn’t feel betrayed or fooled. In fact, he’d be shocked if Steve didn’t want to make amends, Lord knew how sorry Steve was about everything.

So when Steve didn’t tell him where the phone was, Sam didn’t fight him on it. Figured it was good enough Steve had trusted him with this, anyways.

But Sam found, almost accidentally, the phone three days later. And really, the thing wasn’t about him, but as soon as he saw it there was just one thing on his mind:

Rhodey.

Nearly seven months had passed and Sam still hadn’t found a way to stop seeing the former Colonel in his sleep. In some really good, and some really, really bad dreams.

Ones where Rhodey rolled his hand through his face and kissed him gently, a ghost of a kiss on his dry lips. And ones where Rhodey spat at him curse words, paralyzed and crying.

Sam hadn’t told Steve about Rhodey’s accident, and much less his involvement, yet. Actually, hadn’t told anybody. And he knew, he knew because he had lived it all before, that he was going through survivor’s guilt again. But the knowledge didn’t ease the pain, nor the anxiety.

Just when he was starting to move on from Riley, destiny has some way of reminding Sam why he must die alone, apparently.

He stares at the phone for two full minutes and then sighs. There are boundaries he’s probably crossing, Steve told him about it but that doesn’t mean Sam was supposed to go through the thing.

Turned out, it didn’t even have one single number saved. But when Sam checked the calls history, it showed one number, repeated three times in the last week.

Sam’s finger started shaking to press the call button but the panic rushing through his chest made him toss the damn thing back in the drawer where it was. He wondered if that’s how Steve had been acting towards it for the last couple of months, and understood him.

He took a deep breath and looked around the room. The safe house they were at was empty, and outside the Colombian weather was fresh. Sam bit his lower lip and went to type in a text.

“How’s Rhodes?” he wrote and sent, hoping to God Stark had it in him to tell Sam about his best friend’s recovery, hopefully, since Sam still hadn’t seen the War Machine armor fighting alongside the Newest New Avengers.

Five minutes passed and Sam had the thing vibrating on his hand. And really, for somebody who just sent a text asking a question Sam shouldn’t be surprised he got a reaction. Guessed he just didn’t expect it that soon.

Rolling his eyes, he drove the phone up to his ear and sighed before pressing the answering button.

“Sam?” Rhodey called, in the quietest, less describable voice.

Sam dropped the phone and ran away as if the house was on fire.

\-----

A week passed and he still hadn’t told Steve about his stupid, _stupid_ idea to send that damned text. He assumed Steve knew already since he had to put the phone back in the drawer but Sam guessed Steve didn’t want to talk about the phone either, so.

Blessed be the silence.

But Rhodey’s voice, his tiny, little call, had haunted him for five days in a row. Sam knew he should just rest easy, knowing that Rhodey’s alive and well – or at least he sounds well, but he needed more.

More than feeling guilty about Rhodey’s current state, more than feeling melancholic about his previous superhero life, more than anything, he misses talking to Rhodey. Having him as a confident ear and thoughtful voice, a brother in arms, a drinking buddy.

A perfect boyfriend.

He rolled in the bed for the fourth time in a row and sighed for the sixth. Then he's getting out of the bed and walking towards the office room before he has time to regret everything.

He grabbed the phone like there was a clock ticking and a bomb was going to explode, which in all figurativeness, it might as well be. “I just wanna know if you’re alright?” he typed, and this time he hopes to God Stark’s _not_ the current holder of the clandestine device.

This time it starts vibrating after ten minutes, and Sam swallows hard before putting it against his ear.

“I’m fine—getting better,” Rhodey said, now more awake. There’s swallowing and what sounds like Rhodey scratching his head. “Everything’s okay,” he added, and Sam doesn’t have to be a genius to know Rhodey’s not only talking about himself but their whole problem.

‘Everything’s okay’ is Rhodey’s way of saying ‘I forgive you’, which Sam wants to hear but doesn’t feel like he deserves to. 

Sam hangs up before Rhodey can hear him cry and curse.

\-----

He’s back on the job when he hears Rhodey’s voice again. Well, his actual, real voice, since Sam’s brain can seem to stop making it up in his dreams.

“I hope you’re doing fine,” it says on his coms and it sounds like a voice message. Sam lands non-gracefully in surprise and looks everywhere around. They’ve been cleaning up the streets of Cucuta and so far they were keeping themselves low key, becoming a rumor of the town, nothing too big so they wouldn’t call so much attention.

How had Rhodey found them, Sam didn’t know. But the possible arrest wasn’t was making him anxious, it was just the idea of seeing Rhodey in person.

Sam looked and searched everything with his goggles, then took them off and repeated the process, then ordered Redwing to do it.

No sign of any member of the former Team Iron Man or SHIELD. Nobody.

“Sam?” Wanda called behind him and made Sam startle on his spot. “You alright?” she asked. Sam blinked twice and gave one last look around before nodding. “We’re heading back home,” she said before running through some people that were thanking her, thanking all of them.

As soon as they got home, he felt Steve’s big, heavy hand on his shoulder. “You’ve been talking to Rhodey,” he said quietly, easy.

Sam looked at Steve for a long minute before he casted his eyes down. “Technically, no. That would involve me actually letting out words,” he said and Steve narrowed his brow. “I—texted him, a couple of times. He called back, said some things. It all took no longer than two minutes,” Sam explained. “Listen, I’m sorry, I know, you gave Tony that phone for a reason, it’s yours, I’m not—,”

“Sam,” Steve cut in, his face a little messed up. “I’m not strong enough to use it. If you can, so be it. I’d say I’m glad you’re fixing things up, but it doesn’t look like that’s what’s going on, is it?” he asked and Sam buries his eyes in the dirty spot on the white floor.

He moved his head to one side just a bit and hoped that was enough of an answer.

“What is it?” Steve wondered.

“I can’t—I don’t know how to speak to him, not after—you know,” Sam said, in pauses as he tried to make his voice stop sounding broken. He doesn’t expect Steve to hug him like he does after but Sam lets his head bury on Steve’s right shoulder and feels safe enough to allow himself to break a little.

“I get it,” it’s the only thing that Steve says, while he wraps his arms around Sam like an octopus.

\-----

It’s broad daylight, a month later, when Rhodey’s voice comes up again. Sam braced himself, closed his eyes, and pictured Rhodey neatly.

“I can’t walk anymore,” Rhodey said, and he sounded like he was swallowing a glass of something. Sam knows how to put two and two to know he’s drinking. “In case Tony didn’t mention it. That’s how bad it was—is. He built a prosthetic device for my spine, legs. I can walk with it. It’s not perfect, not entirely comfortable and it still needs some progress, but it gets me going. It does the job. Sam,” he called, his voice raspy and unsteady and Sam feels his own throat closing tightly. “I’m getting better, physically, I am, I swear. But,” he took a deep breath, and Sam could even feel Rhodey’s lips shaking.

“Listen, Sam. This guilt-thing’s got to stop. I—I can’t do this without you. I... need you,” he continued, confessing, and Sam has a universe of people below him but he feels distant and out of place. “It wasn’t your fault. I called the shot, Vision took it. You’re the last person that should take the blame for what happened. I won’t have it, that’s _my_ burden. _I_ own it. It belongs to _me_. You’re not allowed to fight my demons,” Rhodey said, ordered, in that voice Sam knew from way before they were out there being Avengers. “But, if you have it in you, if you can, if you want, I’m willing to let you fight them with me,” he suggested, and it’s like his whole stance changes.

“Just, _please_ , answer the goddamned phone,” he added, pleading.

Sam looked at the sun fading away in the distance, turning the sky into a bright shade of pinks and purples, and took a deep breath, trying to hold the anxiety back.

“Do it. We got it covered over here,” he heard Steve's voice on the com, and looked down from his spot to the street to see Steve looking up to the top of the building, where he is.

Maybe it’s the powerful energy the sun is glowing with and the peaceful sight of the buildings and houses and trees that makes Sam feel a certain quietness.

Maybe it’s also the fact that he’s weak enough to grant Rhodey anything he wants when he asks it with that voice.

Maybe it’s also the fact that he feels, deep inside, that it’s been enough, and he’s gone through a lot. And he really fucking deserves to have this one thing.

So he flips the pad on his wrist and dials the number of the phone, takes another deep breath and presses the call button.

It’s beeped for three times when he answers it. “I’m sorry it took me so long,” it’s the first thing Sam says.

“Nah, the time’s just right,” Rhodey says, and Sam can actually picture him smiling. “I’m about to take the first flying test in the suit with the new legs,” Rhodey shared, and Sam feels like they never stopped talking.

It takes Sam too long to answer and Rhodey’s terrified voice comes up again. “You still there?” he called.

“I’m not going anywhere this time, Rhodey,” Sam said, honest to God.

“Good,” Rhodey agreed, and Sam can hear him take off from wherever he is. “Also, we should probably get our own clandestine cellphone, since you know, this isn’t ours,” he joked.

Sam laughs louder than he shoulder and lets the sound ring in his ribcage, Rhodey’s chuckling along with him and seriously, he can’t believe it took him this long to answer the stupid phone.

“God bless that stupid phone,” Sam muttered and heard Rhodey agree with a ‘mhmm’.   


End file.
